he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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