All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
