I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
