Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
