yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
