don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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