i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
