Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
