I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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