Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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