Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
