yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
