Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize