remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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