ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
