gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
These tits shall not be calmed
I smell like Dick and happiness
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