Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
