just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
This baby is an asshole
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
