Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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