He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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