u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
