I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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