Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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