My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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