Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
