I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It was confusing and full of hummus
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
