His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
