why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
