If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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