Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
