i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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