Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
