I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
