YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
