I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
