I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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