Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
