Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
