next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
