Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
