I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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