She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
