I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
