We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
