Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
try to milk me bitch
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