I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
