you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
