I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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