Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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