its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
