Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
